On the road I feel like a better version of myself, a freer version. Things happen when you take yourself outside of your comfort zone in only a way that travel can give you. Every time you travel, you will learn more about yourself as you expose yourself to new situations with different types of people.
When I was nineteen, I decided to pack my bags and start a new life for myself across this vast country. It was one of the hardest and most exhilarating things I have ever done. At the time, home was where my family was, it was where I grew up, and it was my base for two decades.
When I left Saskatchewan, it was because I felt I couldn’t grow in the way I needed. Then, each time I returned to Saskatchewan after being away, I felt more and more alienated from my previous life there. I began to mourn that life, and yet tried my hardest to hang on to it. For the first two years of living in Toronto, I only vacationed to Saskatchewan. I wanted my world there to be static and to stay the same forever so I would have something safe to come back to, but I was a different person. I would return to Toronto feeling the Post-Vacation Blues in the worst way.
In time, things shifted. I realized that I had changed drastically since I first moved out on my own. I also began making more money than I had when I was a student and thus could afford to travel outside of my small realm. Wanderlust has always been a part of my soul, but when my soul was tied up with grief, that part of me was muted. Finally, my heart yearned to leave my normal life on a regular basis, and once again make the world my oyster.

Being this incredibly free-spirited person on the road makes coming back home a bitch. When you come home, you realize that everything is the same as you left it, but at the same time, everything is a little different. Your friends are still going to the same bars, still the same people, the trees are all in the same place, but everything is a little older and more mature. You realize that the life you’ve amalgamated yourself so thoughtfully into can get by just fine without you; they love you, but people adjust.
After the initial hugs are had and road-stories shared, you have to learn to get by; living the same life you were before, but now you’re just a little bit different. You’ll return to your same old apartment, settle back into your routine, and you’ll have to learn to re-orient yourself into your old life being a changed person.
Cue Googling the next vacation spot.
You have such balls! I love you!
Love you back!
This lady does have lady balls indeed! I can relate to that feeling of post-vacation blues especially when coming to and from my mother’s house. I love my new apartment downtown, but at the same time, I feel at home in a weird sort of way at my mother’s house blending in with all my old artwork I used to make when I was free from all worries and my mom let me paint murals on the wall. We do change and environments really do change you. This post sums up a lot of feelings I have been having lately. Love it my dear thank you for sharing!
In the future, would you prefer to have NO “home base”? And just travel all the time? That would be mad cool 😛
Such a relatable concept!
Travelling full time would have its merits, but it is always nice to have somewhere to come home to! Maybe some day 🙂
As much as I love to travel, there is the part of me that knows I will never live anywhere other than Toronto. It’s home, the place with the most diverse cultures and foods, and nothing can replace it. Mind you, I do come home from every little trip away lamenting the landscapes and friends I miss as soon as I leave. That’s the price you pay for travelling, this whole having people you love scattered all over the world. The good bit is that it gives you the excuse to go back. Loved reading this!
Having people I love scattered all over the world is something I value dearly. Plus, it makes for cheaper accommodations! xo